Resolving disputes with others Biblically -Church discipline

 BY Argie Simonis 

The Lord gives us a very nice guide to resolving disputes or disagreements with others, but it is rarely followed. 

"Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone: if he shall hear you, you have gained your brother.

But if he will not hear you, then take with you one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.

And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be to you as an heathen man and a publican." Mat.18:15-17

The first step, given in verse 15, is to go directly to those with whom we have the problem. But instead we often go to others to complain. Thus, we become a tool in the hands of the devil to spread the insult and infect others with this conflict:

"For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work." James 3:16

In case the first step does not work out, it is wise to take with us two other people who can be objective, who will listen to both sides of the issue and end up with an impartial judgment.

If this does not resolve the conflict or bring the individual to repentance, then the problem must be brought before the whole church. This group pressure is very effective, especially if the person being disciplined truly loves and respects others in the church.

If there is still no repentance, then the last step is for the whole church to treat the person who is in disobedience as a person who is in the world away from God. This does not mean that we should stop loving it. We are called to love all people. This means that we do not fellowship with them (1 Corinthians 5: 9-11 and 2 Thessalonians 3: 14-15) so that the person is ashamed and repents.

Paul also instructs us on the last step we can take, when the individual continues to be in rebellion in front of the whole Church:

"To deliver such an one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus." 1 Cor. 5:5

The surrender of this man to Satan for the destruction of his flesh was the last step in church discipline. There are two other men whom Paul handed over to Satan for this purpose (1 Timothy 1:20).

Here, our intercession on behalf of others is clearly withdrawn, that is, for their protection, in order to preserve their sins in them. This means that they begin to reap what they have sown because we do not cancel Satan's activities through our prayers.

Surrendering people to Satan does not mean condemning them to hell, nor does it mean that they will die physically. It is something that must not be done lightely and the sole purpose of this is to bring them back to their senses.

Paul explains to us that this practice has to do with discipline within the Church and in order to have an effect it must be done with the participation of all. In the end, however, the Church embraces again and comforts the person that repents:

"Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. So that contrariwise you ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Why I beseech you that you would confirm your love toward him." 2Cor 2:6-8

This is, after all, the ultimate goal of this practice. To bring a person to repentance.

The only individual example mentioned in the Bible is in 1 Tim. 1:20, where Paul does this to Hymenaeus and Alexander "that they may learn not to blaspheme."

All this church discipline depends on whether the church is a church that prays, loves and is healthy. If in a church there is no love between its members, the withdrawal of fellowship is of no use. A person will not miss something that never existed in the first place. 

Also, withdrawing our intercession from a brother or sister, as when we hand him over to satan, is of no use, if we have not prayed for that person from the beginning.

In the end, love and forgiveness prevail!